Monday, November 24, 2008

If I were a girl.........freedom and trauma.

Some times I wonder.....
why I need people .........why I need to speak......and why I ever write .......
I know ....that I connect..........but faster .....I  disconnect.....
Is.. to know .. good enough? 
The world is unfair...
It thrives  on.. my ignorance ...
The choice I make ... is to let it be ...


Which is more traumatic...............my love........to be separated from you ? 
or to have fallen in love with u?.........
I wish I was a statue...........just listening to what one says.........
and not saying any thing.......and when i say
.............it would be a miracle....!!!!.....


Which is more traumatic?..........
my beloved petal  , an orchid in bloom ....the smile of a child .....
To become old......?.... or 
to become ..........younger by heart.......?.
for with  one   life winds around your  neck and stifles you  to rigor........and ....
the other liberates you  with .........oxygen...enough to make the same life.
I am a lesser.......mortal.


Which is more traumatic ..........To loose my innocence  ..........
a mortal frame....of flesh and bones .......and desires
 ........or to regain it ....in its entirety .....
..a life......a love......a desire......or........
........the freedom ....
I am a bird  in  my heart......
in moments of solitude.......... 
When i think.....
only
of you.........


My Maula.......if we ever meet........I promise you 
 that ill never look at you .......
never exhale the breath that says ....I know you ......
never let you  know that ill shed ....
that..... one tiny drop of tear......
You will probably smell the aroma of the tea leaves......
and look around.....at all the shops ......


and may be 


just when you're busy 
Passing off.........words of heart.......written from holding ones breath....
unconscious of the hearts beat.......
or of the world ....as ....a work of art..
I will say 

I don't know many things .........one of them is my freedom 
........and another is my trauma.
Some times freedom is traumatic and trauma makes you  free............

or 


I ll  simply become........
a wave .......a petal........a child.........
and few grains of damp ....earth .







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